Ask Nina

Dear Nina, I started dating someone, and then, this other guy that I wasn’t interested in thinks that I like him. He keeps on texting me and it’s getting really annoying. I’m so dry with my texts because I’m not interested in him. How do I get him to leave me alone?

Dear Reader, I understand your situation, I’ve been through it myself. In my opinion, the best thing you can do is just tell them that you’re not interested in them in that type of way. If you think that your message won’t get across through text, confront them, in-person, and try to be as blunt as possible. If worse comes to worst, block them. Another possible option could be to set them up with someone else. But if it ever gets to the point where they won’t leave you alone after that, please tell an adult, teacher, administration, or someone that you trust so they’re aware of the situation. I hope this helps.

Dear Nina, I was dating someone and it was going all good, we had known each other for like a year and then he used me and then proceeded to dump me. Should I get revenge on him?

Dear Reader, I empathize with you, but I don’t think revenge is the best course of action. Most people want to seek it, but do they really know the true meaning of getting revenge? It is commonly believed that getting revenge on someone who has wronged you will make you feel better, but in many cases, it does just the opposite. Many studies have shown that revenge only provides a sense of closure at that moment, but later it has no effect on you, or it may even make you feel worse than you felt originally. Some alternatives to getting revenge are to talk with your friends, do self-care activities, such as working out or treating yourself to a spa night, and to self-reflect on the quality of the relationship. Although your ex’s actions were distasteful, you should be the bigger person and not stoop to their level by getting revenge. It shows how much stronger you are in the end. I hope this can help your situation.

Dear Nina, I’m trying my best to keep up in school but I just can’t. I have so many responsibilities like taking care of my sister, helping her with her homework, and then doing my homework. My ADHD affects my concentration during school and I need some advice.

Dear Reader, I highly recommend that you talk with your guidance counselor or your parents about your ADHD. Have you been professionally diagnosed? If not, this may be helpful so that you can get proper treatment to help with your concentration.  Find ways to make a schedule that you can follow so you can complete your assignments and so you’re able to help your sister. For example, get a planner and write out all of the homework or activities that you have to complete each day. It may also be helpful to reorganize your time to prioritize school work. If possible, try to complete your assignments as soon as you get home, instead of helping your sister first. In order to stay focused on your work, take small breaks every 30 minutes so that you don’t get overwhelmed or lose focus. I know that it may be really tough sometimes but there are people that can help you. I hope this was able to help.

Dear Nina, I go to therapy, and to be honest, I don’t really want to go. It’s not that I don’t have a connection with my therapist, it’s just that there are some things that I can’t tell my therapist because then they have to tell my parents. I want to tell my parents that I don’t want to go but I don’t think that they’ll understand. What should I do?

Dear Reader, I think you should try and tell your parents that therapy isn’t really benefiting you. They may be open to stopping the therapy if you sincerely explain your situation and suggest other coping mechanisms for whatever you are dealing with. For example, journaling and meditation. Journaling helps you spill out all the thoughts and emotions that you want out on a piece of paper, and it’s just you who’s reading it. It can help you keep track of how your mental health is, whether it’s declining or doing better. Meditation can help by having you find peace, be self-aware, and ultimately find yourself to heal. Try talking with your friends about what’s going on to see if they can help as well. Also, communicate with your therapist and let them know that you think that it isn’t the best course of action for you and your healing process. Everyone needs someone to talk to. I hope this helps.