- Dear Nina, I, along with my mom, have been struggling with insomnia for years. Every day, I try to fall asleep at a reasonable time, but I’m never able to. I can only pull four hours on a regular night, and even though I want to do well in school, I’m just too tired to function. What should I do?
Dear reader, first off, it is important for you to know that you are not alone. Millions of people in the U.S and around the world have struggled with a sleeping disorder at some point in their lives. According to an article published by Penn Medicine, 1 out of 4 Americans develop insomnia symptoms in a year, but the good new is most can recover. Your situation is especially concerning however, since your insomnia has been so long term, and seems to run in your immediate family, which means that there is likely a hereditary component to it. That may sound discouraging, but even if your insomnia is genetic, there are plenty of solutions at your disposal. First off, communicate with your family. Don’t just suffer in silence and roll around in bed for hours at a time. Talk to your mother about her experiences. It won’t fix the problem outright, but it can help you understand your own issues, and reveal possible solutions. Outside of that, there are plenty of things that you can do independently to alleviate your struggle. Insomnia is often tied to stress, so you should do different things to calm yourself down before you fall asleep. Don’t use technology at least half an hour before going to bed, avoid doing work late into the night, and relax by reading, meditating, or work on any hobby that you might have. Now, since your insomnia appears to be at least somewhat genetic, these strategies aren’t likely to fix the problem entirely, but they can help you at least make some progress, and wake up less sluggish for your school. Finally, if you and your family are looking for something stronger, consult a doctor.
2. Dear Nina, I, for one reason or another, feel like I always have to please others. For example, even if I’m struggling in school, I won’t usually say anything to anybody out of fear of disappointing them. It gets to the point where I wish I would’ve pretended to be dumb, to have people lower their expectations for me. What can I do?
Dear reader, a lot of people, especially teenagers, struggle with trying to please others around them, especially their family and their friends. That issue can occur in many different contexts, but in your case, it seems to stem from nervousness over academic performance. To that I say, it is important to be more lenient with yourself. Struggling is natural, and asking for help from those in your support system should not feel shameful. Of course, if you want to be more independent, and wish to solve problems on your own, that’s completely fine, but your happiness should not be the price for your independence. Be kinder to yourself, and don’t be afraid to ask for a hand and establish good communication with those in your circle so that they will know exactly what your needs are. If you do that, I’m more than certain that you will see an increase in your motivation at school and elsewhere, and you will no longer feel like people need to lower their expectations of you.
- Dear Nina, For a while now, I’ve struggled connecting with my younger sister. A lot of times, we do get along, but, mostly, we just bother each other, and haven’t gotten around to understanding each other. What can I do to change that?
Dear reader, I know, perhaps more than anybody, that it can be hard to get along with and understand your sibling. From the context you have provided, it seems like you and your sister are able to coexist. That’s a good start, considering some siblings can barely stand to be in the same room as one another. Your main issue seems to be that although you two want to get along, there exists a disconnect that prevents you from having a more fruitful and peaceful relationship. The first thing you can do is of course, talk to your parents, and ask for their advice. Don’t wait for them to bring it up to you, show them that you care. If you just sit in silence, they may just assume you don’t care, and that wouldn’t benefit anybody. Try to find hobbies interests that you may share, do things together, and see if you can improve that relationship It also goes without saying that another great way to have a better connection is to simply let time work its magic. Both of you, particularly your sister, are still very young. As life goes on, you will likely see each other in a more equal way, and you may feel better about approaching each other for just about anything. Don’t expect your relationship to get better overnight. Just do what you can in the here and now, and let life happen. I hope this helps.
